【The Sex Files 2 A Dark XXX Parody】

Everything's been canceled,The Sex Files 2 A Dark XXX Parody all your friends are avoiding you (for good reason!), and you've checked Twitter so many times that there are literally no new updates for you anymore.

It's time to do what you've always said you would, and watch that dang show already.

You know: The one your friends wouldn't shut up about, and you kept saying you toooootallywanted to check out, if only you had the time. Or the one that you put in your queue after a million glowing reviews, but never actually found the motivation to hit "play" on. The one you kept seeing memed on social media, but avoided because you didn't want to get too sucked in yet.

Well, there's no time like the present.

Your free-time options are limited, and you're in the market for something, anything, to distract you from the alternating worry and boredom. So go for it. See what all the fuss was about. Do what we did, and treat yourself to the binge you always claimed you wanted.

Here's what we're watching while social distancing from coronavirus keeps us glued to our couches.

You

'You' Credit: Netflix

The Lifetime show starring Penn Badgley was a big hit once it came to Netflix (sorry, Lifetime!), but I resisted when everyone in my Twitter timeline told me they were bingeing it earlier this year. I didn't feel like I had the emotional bandwidth for a show about a charismatic stalker. Boy, was I wrong.

It was my first pick when I was stuck inside this past weekend, and it's a great choice for vegging on the couch. While, yes, the subject matter is disturbing, it's mostly presented in such a soap-y, over the top way that I never had any real-life concerns. Instead, it's the perfect thing to kind of lull you away from the unfolding horrors: steamy and sort of cheesy and chock-full of thrown-in pop culture references, it's compulsively watchable without ever making you think about anything too hard. I knocked out Season 1 in a little over a day. Season 2, here I come! — Erin Strecker, Entertainment Editor

Where to watch:Netflix

Westworld 

Westworld Credit: John P. Johnson / HBO

This is it. Now’s the time. I’m definitely going to rewatch all of Westworldand totally understand everything about it. I don’t care if I have to watch every episode thrice at 0.5 speed and take entire scratchpads of notes — I’m gonna figure it out.

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By the end of isolation I will know what the maze is, and why it was in Dolores’s scalp, and what went on with that weird invisible AI cliff thing where everyone jumped off and that was good? Was that in Season 2? I honestly stopped paying attention after the samurai episode, that was really cool. Tessa Thompson is Evan Rachel Wood now, right? And they killed the hot cowboy again, but permanently. I think. Whatever, like I said.

This is my vow: I will work very hard to understand Westworld. That, or get an online degree in quantum computing. Whichever is easier. — Alexis Nedd, Senior Entertainment Reporter

Where to watch:HBO Go

This Is Us

The This is Us family will work things out Credit: Ron Batzdorff/NBC

For months now I’ve repeated this to my coworkers, the words growing emptier with each refrain: “Maybe I’ll catch up on This Is Us.” I fell off from America’s favorite family drama back in Season 3 (what season are we on now? 4? 8? 23?), after the Vietnam flashback that led to a decades-long rift between Jack and his brother. I simply couldn’t handle the This Is Us-ness of it all, so I bailed.

But maybe now is the time for some This Is Us-ness. Maybe I’m ready to watch the Pearsons try literally everything but therapy as they continue to dig up old traumas and new. Maybe I need to hear a Randall non-sequitur that becomes a sweeping monologue, and to then ugly cry alone in the dark as the music “mmMMMmm”s me inevitably to my fate. Maybe I’ll catch up on This Is Us. — Proma Khosla, Entertainment ReporterWhere to watch:Hulu

Chernobyl

Chernobyl Credit: LIam Daniel / HBO

A harrowing miniseries about a deadly disaster made worse by stubborn denial and incompetent leadership may not be the most comforting choice in the midst of a global pandemic. But there's something to be said for leaning into this dark mood instead of desperately trying to keep it at bay (for me, at least; YMMV), and in that regard, Chernobylis a grimly appropriate choice.

Three episodes in, I'm grateful to Chernobylfor being engrossing enough to distract me for hours at a time, without putting me through the emotional whiplash of switching between a blissful fictional world and my own scary reality. I've come to appreciate the show for letting me process my own panic through its lens, and I've even found glimmers of hope in characters trying to do the right thing in the face of incredible difficulty. Yes, Chernobylis bleak as hell. Right now, though, that's exactly what I need. — Angie Han, Deputy Entertainment Editor

Where to watch:HBO Go

The Witcher

The Witcher Credit: Katalin Vermes / Netflix

All this social distancing gives me plenty of time to tackle my gaming backlog — God of War! Last of Us! Outer Wilds! — but I know I'm going to need something for when my hands get sore. That’s where Netflix’s The Witchercomes in.

No, I haven’t read any of the books and I’ve never really gotten into the video games. Still, based on everything my friends and colleagues tell me, this fantasy drama is complex enough that it’ll fully engross my mind while I tune out [gestures wildly] everything else. Plus, Henry Cavill. You know, as a treat. — Alison Foreman, Entertainment Reporter

Where to watch: Netflix

Survivor

Survivor Credit: Robert Voets / CBS

Two days ago I had a fever, so I am stuck in my apartment for two weeks out of caution. A good friend of mine is a big Survivorfan, and their enjoyment of the series inspired me to get back into it for the first time in probably 15 years.

It turns out to be the perfect show for isolation. Not only is it a great show filled with drama and mind games and some entertaining physical challenges, Survivoris always set on a beautiful location in nature — which helps with my own lack of contact with the outdoors. Plus, I get to see some people put survival skills to use in creative ways, which I may need to learn in case this pandemic gets much worse. — Kellen Beck, Entertainment Reporter

Where to watch:CBS All Access

Topics Netflix COVID-19