【Canada Archives】

Despite their reputation as the happiest places on Canada Archivesearth, Disney theme parks have recently become a lightning rod for profoundly unhappy people airing their opinions on what millennials can and cannot do.

First came the viral Facebook post from an unhinged mom who railed against childless millennials taking up space at Disney World, in which she accused complete strangers of being pretzel-buying sluts (her words, no joke) who should cede their attendance at the park to parents with children. Then there was the New York Postarticle that associated Disney park trips with millennial immaturity and said childless park attendees have “an unhealthy relationship” with the House of Mouse.

Here’s the thing though, about childless millennials going to Disney theme parks. Those parks are actually designed for them.

For all the huffing and puffing about how Disneyland and Disney World are family parks, both institutions (and their overseas counterparts) have done an incredible amount of work to draw in the childless millennial demographic. One only has to look at the release of Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge, Pandora -The World of Avatar, and all currently planned Disney expansions including a Marvel park to realize that young adults without parental responsibilities have become of one Disney’s target demographics.

Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge is notable for its immersive, app-driven roleplay storyline and for Oga’s Cantina, the first establishment to serve alcohol in Disneyland proper. Prior to Oga’s, the only way for adults to responsibly enjoy alcohol at Disneyland was to travel to California Adventure and return to the main park; by breaking the tradition of keeping Disneyland alcohol-free (with the exception of the elite members’ Club 33), the park clearly courts guests who have the option of being a little...impaired on their vacation — guests who don’t have the responsibility of children.

The roleplay aspect of Star Wars: Galaxy Edge also precludes young children from the park’s most interesting elements. The Play Disney Parks mobile app, within which guests can influence the First Order or Resistance’s presence on the ground, is geared towards those with a clearer understanding of Star Wars and the fantasy politics at play.

The upcoming Star Wars hotel at Orlando’s Disney World resort amplifies this focus on visitors who grew up with the franchise and wish to participate in an immersive, live-action roleplay experience in a galaxy far, far away.

New parks aside, Disneyland and Disney World are subject to the effects of time. One of the hallmarks of both parks remain their focus Disney princesses, nearly all of whom come from movies that hearken back to specifically millennial childhoods. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella might be old enough for anyone to appreciate, but current millennials grew up with Ariel, Belle, Pocahontas, Jasmine, and Mulan.

Frozen’s Anna and Elsa might draw in a younger crowd of pint-sized Disney fanatics, but the majority of Disney’s throwback appeal is from nostalgia specifically tailored to the late 1980s and 1990s.

Even as newer parents introduce their children to the OG Disney princesses, the first generation of princess fans are still those who looked forward to seeing trailers for Pocahontasor Aladdinin theaters, who cobbled together off-brand tiaras and costumes before the Disney Store stepped up to provide official merchandise in the late 1990s. As the center of each Disney park is its princess castle, the heart of the Disney experience is its princesses, who came into their own alongside the millennial generation.

One of the final arguments against childless millennials going to Disney parks is the lack of sophistication suggested by vacationers who choose to spend their money on domestic Disney vacations instead going to Europe or another allegedly more enlightening experience. The best way to counter this facet of nitpickery is to simply shrug, mutter “Jesus Christ,” and continue on with one’s day.

The world is literally and metaphorically on fire. Passports are a luxury and comfort is a rarity. Young people with no children and any disposable income absolutely deserve to spend their money on whatever will make them feel good, and if falling sway to Disney’s promise of getting drunk, meeting Mulan, and riding Space Mountain will assuage the crushing weight of this century’s catastrophic turn, thenlet them go.

Mickey Mouse himself is a childless icon whose long-term girlfriend expresses no interest in getting married. Their best friend Goofy is a divorced dad who barely acknowledges his son in the greater canon, and Donald Duck is a misanthrope with a rich uncle who never wears pants. Disney on the whole is millennial as shit, and it’s not an entire generation’s fault that they flock to that which was made to lure them.

Mean mommies and superior columnists can write what they will, but Disneyland and Disney World know what they’re doing when it comes to collecting those millennial dollars. Don’t hate the Disney player. Hate the Disney game.