【Happy (2015)】

If there's one thing Daenerys Targaryen is Happy (2015)good at, it's burns. If there's a second thing she's good at, it's shutting down the men who vex her. With burns.

Confession: since college, I've basically just been quoting Daenerys whenever a fuccboi has had the misfortunate of crossing my path. And using her burns works Every. Single. Time.

Because the Khaleesi's lessons on how to deal with insufferable male egos applies to much more than just the fictional world of Westeros. I mean, let's be real, aren't fuccbois essentially the real world equivalent of the looming Army of the Dead in Game of Thrones?

SEE ALSO: If Danaerys Targaryen's madness doesn't undo her, trust issues will

As a problem too big for small minds, fuccboi obliviousness seems to regenerate like an unstoppable walker whenever you try to cut it down. Just like A Song of Ice and Fire, it may be that only dragonfire can melt the icy armor of a Night King-level fuccboi.

So the next time you encounter one -- be it in one-to-one combat or the overall war to defeat the impending Army of Fuccbois (which is taking its damn sweet time finding its way down South, if you catch my drift) -- look to the Unburnt Queen for guidance.

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14. "So I assume, my lord, you're here to bend the knee." (Season 7)

You know those moments when you meet a scrub at a bar, list all your ample, verifiable accomplishments, and he interrupts you to list his own made-up accomplishments? It usually sounds something like, "Yeah, I'm actually the CEO of my own company. It's a startup." This fuccboi even adds insult to his own injuries, by both patronizing and questioning yourlegitimate successes.

This burn goes out to all those up-and-coming 20-something CEOs out there with their new LLC, who must bend the knee or consider themselves in open rebellion.

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13. "He was not a true dragon. Fire cannot kill a dragon." (Season 2)

Unfortunately, unlike White Walkers, the physical appearance of a fuccboi does not always betray his true nature. Often, fuccbois can fool you into believing that they're actually regular, datable men. All of a sudden, months or even years into dating, you realize you've been sharing your bed with a husk of masculine insecurity.

For the fuccboi who reveals himself to be too meek to handle your fire, tell him to stay the hell out of your kitchen. Add a crown of molten gold to the face for bonus Khaleesi points!

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12. "I will not lie with you. And I will bear no children, for you, or anyone else." (Season 6)

The last thing a fuccboi-slaying Dragon Queen wants is to accidentally partake in fuccboi behavior herself, with things like vague promises she can't keep. So make sure you're being absolutely clear with your fuccboi about the status of your availability. Before lighting him the fuck up.

11. "You are small men. None of you are fit to lead the Dothraki. But I am. So I will." (Season 6)

You know when you find yourself imprisoned by an entire Army of Fuccbois once again questioning your accomplishments or, worse still, openly threatening you? Lay waste with this line, before usurping them and freeing their people from the tyranny of fragile male egos.

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10. "This one's on top, then that one's on top -- and on and on it spins crushing those on the ground." (Season 5)

Listen, I know how exhausting it gets to deal with the perpetually spinning wheel of fuccbois who insist on denying you what is rightfully yours. It demoralizes even the most Unburnt Queen among us. So repeat this Daenerys burn in your mirror every morning before you start your day, as a motivator and reminder that they're all just spokes on a wheel.

Never forget that you were put on this earth to not only stop the wheel, but break it into a million little fuccboi pieces.

9. "Once I own them -- these men -- what will I be?" (Season 3)

More of an introspective burn, you should take a moment of rest from hosing fuccbois with fire and blood to consider the morality of it all. Sure, these are poor excuses for human existence, and you're making the world a better place by owning them with burns.

But remember that you're a beautiful Queen at heart, too, who deserves long-lasting fulfillment. Afteryou've answered injustice with justice.

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8. "You promised me, 'My sword is yours. My life is yours.' This is what I command." (Season 6)

Like Khaleesi dealing with a Daario Naharis who just can't take a hint, some fuccbois need to be reminded of their place. In such instances, remind him of the oath he swore to do exactly as you commanded. By refusing to go away once you decided his services were no longer needed, this fuccboi is in open defiance of his Queen. And deserves to burn for it.

7. "I said farewell to a man who loves me. A man I thought I cared for. And I felt nothing. Just impatient to get on with it." (Season 6)

Employ this burn when you're with a fellow Khaleesi or male ally, and feeling a little "sorry not sorry" about the trail of male tears you leave in your wake. But when a Queen must ride her dragon into the sun to her destiny, there's not a ton a room for a fuccboi to tag along.

Basically, just watch this entire Daario, Dany, and Tyrion scene from Season 6 for a quick "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Burns" guide.

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6. "It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone." (Season 5)

Ever the optimist, despite finding yourself in a cesspool of fuccbois, don't forget to leave the door open for a true partner you can trust. To avoid a calloused heart, be sure to ride that fine line between trusting no one, and allowing yourself to love (once they've proven themselves worthy).

5. "Yes. All men must die, but we are not men." (Season 4)

It's not allabout laying waste to your fuccboi enemies. It's also important to restore your faith in humanity with fellow Queens. What could feel more restorative than the shared look of understanding that passes between two powerful women as they discuss the inferiority of men over brunch?

I'll take your bottomless mimosa with a side of dragonfire, please.

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4. "Any other man and I would have you executed -- but you. I do not want you in my city, dead or alive." (Season 4)

Betrayal. It's inevitable in the Game of Fuccbois. But you are not powerless in the face of treacheries like Ser Friendzone failing to mention he aided in the assassination attempt on his Khaleesi's life.

When you deem it appropriate, or when it proves emotionally beneficial, don't be afraid to show traitors a little mercy. Also, don't be afraid to tell him not to let the burn hit him in the ass on the way out your kingdom, as he walk-of-shames across a desert of loneliness.

3. "I swear this: If you ever betray me, I'll burn you alive." (Season 7)

Again, you can never know which dudes among you are secret fuccbois. So dole this simple promiseof a burn out on any male partner who you consider a doubtful ally. Because, as discussed above, fuccbois can be hiding in dragon's clothing.

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2. "A dragon is not a slave."

For the Dragon Queens who dofind themselves captured in the chains of a fuccboi relationship, sometimes you both need a forest fire. After freeing yourself from his misogynistic bondage, drop this parting burn to ensure you destroy his life as you leave.

1. "Dracarys."

Use this burn generously over whatever sea of fuccbois gets in your way. Whether in a bar or at Slaver's Bay, this burn works best on a fuckboi who dares doubt your status as the goddamn Mother of Burns.

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Topics Game Of Thrones