【Drunken Woman Pickup Sex】

Whenever I feel like I want to gouge my eyes out and Drunken Woman Pickup Sexsell them on Etsy, or bang my head up against a wall so many times I break the entire wall down, I turn to Twitter, the angriest platform on the internet.

I'm not alone here, surrounded by the rage-tweeters and takedown artists of the world. Even Cher's emojis have been on a downward trend for the past two years.

Still, there are refuges of warmth and kindness. There are raccoon stan accounts. There's Sister Helen Prejean, the death penalty activist who has, for some reason, also offered to help people process their personal problems.

Then there's Anthony "Hannibal Lecter" Hopkins, easily the happiest man on Twitter.

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I know that's a strong assertion to make, but I feel confident making it. Take a look at his most recent contribution, a video where he wishes everyone a happy Sunday.

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I've spent a day dissecting this video, trying to imagine what exactly prompted him to create it. With the exception of our president, who had just tweeted a joke about genocide, this wasn't an especially bad weekend in America. We didn't especially need Anthony Hopkins to heal us. He just went ahead and made this video out of an emotion they call ... heart.

There are plenty of other tweets like this on Hopkins' timeline. Here's Hopkins wishing us a "Happy New Year" while rocking a Hawaiian shirt and a lei:

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The year before, Hopkins rung in the new year by playing one of the leading piano recital songs, "Rhapsody in Blue:"

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Then there are the tweets that feature Hopkins and one of his many cats out enjoying life (Hopkins and his wife collect stray cats). You could make a calendar out of this shit and sell it for millions.

Look at Hopkins coddle this creature while rocking what appears to be a white bathrobe. Gazing at this photo is self-care.

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The cat content just keeps on giving:

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Soak in all this slow motion nuzzling. Who need a BAFTA or an Oscar when you can go viral on Twitter?

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If cats aren't your thing, consider one of the actor's many other benign interests. Hopkins really, really loves his weekends, for example.

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The man is living, breathing, greeting card:

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He's also a huge fan of traveling, and he loves to share sexy selfies of himself in some of the world's most beautiful places.

Hopkins is basically an 81-year-old teen and I. Can't. Stop. Liking. This. Shit.

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I beg of you: Watch this video in full. And please turn on the audio. This is a meditation app in tweet form.

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Bonus: Hopkins is also a painter and not of the Jim Carrey variety, either. He's good.

His work is a Starbucks World Music CD put to canvas.

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No wonder Hopkins is this happy -- he doesn't vote, he doesn't care about Trump, and he allegedly takes a "widescreen approach to politics," whatever that means.

"I don’t vote because I don’t trust anyone. We’ve never got it right, human beings," Hopkins told The Guardian in May of 2018.

I'm sure we'd all be this happy if we could afford to be this oblivious.

Alas, we cannot. So let's take this Anthony Hopkins content for what is: pure wholesome branding.

Friends, I leave you with this.

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In the immortal, infinitely wise words of one of Britain's greatest actors, the brilliant Anthony Hopkins: Happy Monday, everyone.

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