My poor,Watch Black Water: Abyss Online sweet angel boy. What did they do to you?
American Horror Story: Apocalypse Episode 7 had a lot going on. We finally discovered what happened to our beloved Nan, Cordelia burned the bridge with Papa Legba, the coven held a fabulously fashionable triple execution, and Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt was shockingly useful.
And yet, none of these ridiculous developments compare to the big reveal that came via promo for Episode 8.
Brace yourselves. The news is mixed.
The good: Evan Peters is getting a fourth character to play and Billy Eichner is getting his second. (Actors have been taking on multiple roles all season.)
The bad: Both of these new characters are stunting the most abhorrent bowl cuts known to man.
SEE ALSO: 13 Reasons Bowl Cuts Were the WorstDon't get me wrong. I will always take more of Evan Peters and Billy Eichner—regardless of the horrendous faux scalps with which they have been accosted.
It just has to be said, these are difficult to stomach. Like chugging the liquid heart of your mistress through a funnel difficult to stomach.
See these monstrosities for yourself:
Notably, this horror is a minor step up for Billy Eichner, aesthetically speaking. His post-apocalyptic look was physically painful to behold.
But still, the point stands. Could we not have suited these talents with some luscious locks à la Duran Duran? Or, perhaps, a classic cut akin to a 1990s David Bowie? Good lord, just throw them into some Timberlake frosted tips. Anythingbut this!
Deep breath.
This cosmetic tragedy aside, the new characters for Peters and Eichner do seem like a ton of fun. Satanic cult followers dedicated to bumbling alongside the antichrist, the duo appears to be situated at the rarely visited intersection between Dumb & Dumberand Rosemary's Baby.
So, how do these self-proclaimed henchmen fit into Apocalypse's final three episodes?
One Redditor speculated that the two might have a Murder Houseconnection, considering Peters and Eichner's bowl cuts make them look a bit like the twins of Season 1, Troy and Bryan. This theory, however, is pretty easy to debunk considering Troy and Bryan are red heads and, also, perpetually 11.
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Other fans are questioning what the addition of Peters' unnamed fourth role will mean for the possible return of his Coven character, Kyle. (Now, there was a guy with great hair.)
The fan favorite was last seen at Miss Robichaux's Academy during the Season 3 finale still aliveundead and well. Unfortunately, Kyle's return does seem like it could be complicated by Peters' already mountainous assemblage of responsibilities this season.
So far, Peters has portrayed an Apocalypseoriginal character, Mr. Gallant, as well as revitalized his past roles as Season 5's James Patrick March and Season 1's Tate Langdon. Now, he's adding bowl cut boy.
On top of all of that, Peters is also slated to direct this season—although which episode he will be responsible for has not yet been made public. (Evan, if you are at any point directing yourself: Fix. The. Bowl. Cut.)
All in all, more Evan Peters and Billy Eichner means great things for the final installments of American Horror Story: Apocalypse. We're seven episodes into the series' most highly praised season and things are still looking world endingly good.
Well, minus those bowl cuts. (I mean, really?!)
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