Not since Fleabag's Hot Priest stirred collective longing has the internet shown such fervor for priestly proceedings.
As 133 cardinals entered the Sistine Chapel at the Vatican on hardcore sex moviesWednesday to begin a first round of voting for a new pope, the internet erupted with memes, speculation, and a surprising amount of enthusiasm for Vatican procedure. The mood online is equal parts solemn liturgy and stan culture, as people anoint their preferred successors, share edits of their favorite cardinals, and dissect centuries-old rituals like they’re scenes from Edward Berger's Conclave.
And it's not just Catholics watching with fascination. The internet has turned the Church’s succession protocols into a kind of fandom. Think March Madness brackets, but for princes of the Church. Think thirst posts about cardinal vestments and Latin chants set to Brat-style club-pop.
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And at the center of it all is @PopeCrave, a fan account dedicated to the Conclavemovie, and by extension, to the spectacle of the real-life papal succession.
With posts that blur the line between cinephilia and church gossip, Pope Crave has become a hub for papal content, complete with fancams, liturgical drip analysis, and side-by-side cassock comparisons. The account now boasts self-appointed "correspondents" on the ground in Vatican City, live-tweeting cardinal arrivals, crowd reactions, and even the color of the smoke with the breathless energy of red carpet coverage. It’s reverent, ridiculous, and deeply online, capturing the surreal moment when centuries-old Church ritual becomes fandom spectacle.
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So why is the internet, an ecosystem not exactly known for its deep liturgical literacy, so obsessed with the papal conclave?
Part of it is the drama. The conclave has all the hallmarks of prestige TV (or an Oscar-nominated film): secret meetings, ancient rituals, power struggles, and a world-historical decision made behind locked doors. Add centuries of tradition, elaborate costumes, and the closely watched chimney of the Sistine Chapel, and you've got a plot that writes itself. It’s Successionmeets Game of Thrones(maybe a dash of Mean Girls, too), but with incense.
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It also helps that the whole thing moves fast. Unlike so many real-world political processes, the conclave historically wraps up in days, sometimes even hours. There’s an urgency to it, a beginning, middle, and end that fits perfectly within a TikTok-sized attention span. You don’t need to track a months-long primary season; you just need to know what color the smoke is.
And then, of course, there’s irony. Online fascination often starts with a single meme or fandom joke and quickly spirals into sincere investment. What begins as cosplay for canon law suddenly becomes a full-on obsession, complete with favorites, feuds, and fan theories. It’s not that the internet has found religion; it’s that it’s found a storyline with stakes, spectacle, and a very stylish supporting cast.
Whether the fascination fades with the smoke or lingers long after a new pontiff is announced, the conclave’s moment in the algorithmic spotlight says something about what captivates us now. In an age of fractured attention and constant scrolling, it turns out that even the most ancient of rituals can go viral.
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